House Crazy Sarah has been approached many times over the years by youngsters (even oldsters!) asking how they can become published authors. So House Crazy Sarah has compiled this super-easy to-do checklist so you too can taste the sweet triumph of becoming a bonafide published author!
1) Be a DOER (watch the movie Pain & Gain)
2) Envision the critics exalting your work and what the praise blurbs will say on the book jacket: “best book I’ve ever read” – Stephen King
3) Read and savor bad reviews of very famous authors; it will make you feel not only competent, but confident!
4) Be a turtle in a hard shell so rejection bounces off you, but also have a safe place in which to retreat.
5) Make a writing playlist of some kick-ass songs (and some John Denver for when you need a hug)
6) Envision the oodles of money you will make. (Not actually based in reality, but have some fun with your imagination!)
7) Envision high-school classmates trying to reconnect with you on social media just so they can say they know a famous writer.
8) Rewrite your will to include the clause “all intellectual property of…” (That will make you feel accomplished and legit!)
9) Use your writing expenses as a tax write-off – that makes it official (you’ve lost money trying to make money!)
10) And finally, think of yourself as worthy of publication. There’s some pretty crappy stuff published out there. You can do better than THAT!
~ House Crazy Sarah