House Crazy Sarah has gained a few lbs compared to her younger years. Does she really care? Nah. A little meat on her bones does her good. So don’t think you’ll see her at the gym or doing any fancy dieting.
No, workouts at the gym are not high on her list of to-do’s. House Crazy Sarah has been to work out at a gym exactly one time in her life.
She is among that group of people who are mortified at the thought of stepping foot into a public arena of grunting, glistening bodies, spinning machines and walls of mirrors that amplify it all back. House Crazy Sarah is the most un-sporty person in her age group. If you throw a ball in her general direction, she’ll duck and run for cover.
For one, she doesn’t like to be sweaty. For two, she prefers to be alone in her bed with a good book and no peoples anywhere near her. Vacuuming, deep cleaning, and walking the dog are her fitness routines.
So when House Crazy Sarah was dating a buff dude a few years back who worked out at a gym five times a week, she was slightly curious as to what the draw was.
The buff dude said: “you should try it, you might like it”.
No, she thought, I won’t. But House Crazy Sarah is a good sport and she’ll try anything once. So buff dude took her to his gym on a trial run.
It was her first time ever and surely her last. Buff dude was enthusiastic and supportive, sticking close by her and talking her through it all step by step. Buff dude was a former personal trainer, you see.
Here’s how you turn on the treadmill.
Here’s where you put your feet.
Now is when you need to drink some water (“hydrate or die!”)
House Crazy Sarah tried earnestly to pay attention, but she was too distracted looking at all the very toned soccer moms and the very muscled soccer dads and wondering what their bodies might look like if they didn’t work out. Sprinkled about the large gym were some flabby, overweight folks but even they looked like they knew what they were doing. House Crazy Sarah felt like a stubbed toe – throbbing red and sticking out.
It was a futile task for buff dude, but it was sweet of him to try. They weren’t meant to be (not surprisingly) and eventually parted ways.
House Crazy Sarah just isn’t a gym rat. She’s more like a book mouse.
Along those lines, her New Year’s resolutions are as follows:
Awe heck, she honestly doesn’t have any.
Her To-Be-Read pile is a mile high, she wants to get writing another book, and she also needs to have time for her blog, not to mention being a full-time working single mom. So instead of stressing her little heart out over it all, her one and only New Year’s resolution is to just chill.
And sleep. In fact, she may morph into a fat house cat if she lives up to her goal of lounging more and stressing less.
She’s purring already just thinking about it.